#IndieBusiness Social Network

Enjoy Your Life! Build Your Business! Have Your Way!

After 6 years in automotive industry I have finally found what I love to do most! Create wonderful products where I can use my sense of good taste and ability to learn new things! But it has been hard to find encouragement among my close friends. I refer to my business as my other baby, yet still I feel conscious talking about it around friends. I had to break up with my best friend because she honestly and openly didn't care. I was afraid to even mention anything about Marmalade Hills when I was talking to her. I created a distance to protect myself from getting hurt and than I just had to set the record straight because I couldn't be around her anymore. I don't feel like I'm sacrificing anything: my husband is my rock, my family is completely on board, but it feels like we are losing friends and it makes me sad. I am always busy and completely consumed by my kids, family and business. Everybody knows not to bother me because I'm always busy. Am I doing something wrong? Am I expecting too much from people? Am I working too much? One small fact, I am just starting out so everything has to be done at once and it feels like I am moving a mountain...
I appreciate any advise or sharing of similar stories. Sometimes it is just enough to know that you are not the only one who is going through this.

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Thank you Charlon! I also like to place myself in other people's shoes. I use this a lot actually, it always works!
Building a business is all consuming and that your family is on-board is wonderful. Just because you're obsessed with being a new parent, does not mean everyone in your life will think that baby is cute. There are tons of reasons why a friend might pull back, jealousy, hurt that she thinks you are changing, any number of reasons. Own, what you own. Honestly look at your conversations, are you talking it all the time? I know I'm yapping fashion and makeup 100% and it's driving my friends nuts. They're just tired of hearing about it, so I just keep my mouth shut, unless asked and leave them wanting more. I also pull them into the process, if they are interested and honest and ask them to test samples. I also found online communities that I can yammer in.

The bottom line is that change in someone care scare people. Conclusions are jumped to. I lost over 210 pounds and lost friends. I rarely talked about the process in our face to face conversations. I did blog about it, but the friends I lost were not interested in the blog. One said I would not like my, "fat friends," anymore and was afraid I would push her to lose. Which I never would. I did have some new conversion zeal, but held it in. Assumptions were made, conversations had and losses happened. It still hurts to this day (10 years process, now over).

So, some relationships you can salvage and some will be lost. It happens. Just be honest about time commitments and do something with someone and don't mention, or think about the business one day a week. You don't want to burn out.
Hi Liana,

I totally understand what you're going through. I have a belief that I've carried throughout my business, "Believe in yourself and surround yourself with people that believe in you."

When I started my business, friends and even my own family were unsupportive. I lost a lot of people I thought were friends and my parents thought I was crazy going from a 6 figure salary and MBA to work for myself and didn't want to hear anything about it. The only support I had was from my husband.

Like these other wise ladies said, time can often heal relationships and you acquire healthier ones along the way. Since my husband's passing last year, my relationship with my family has been restored and they have become stronger supporters of my business mainly because they are able to see what he saw and step in and help.

Many people, I found are afraid of the unknown and with owning a business that's kinda what you have to expect. So, instead of embracing this adventure, they turn away. I like to have people in my life that can embrace the unknown and encourage me as I trekk through the valley's and climb the mountains toward success.:)
Christine, it is sad that sometimes you have to lose someone dear to grew stronger as a family. But it happens way too often. Thank you for your encouragement and support!
Hi Liana:

When I saw your post, I knew that I HAD to reply. You need to get to know Tricia Dycka! Her specialty is helping business owners bridge the gap between their relationships & their businesses. I just published an article that was written by her in my ezine...the article is called Peace At Any Cost...What Does it Mean? You can see it here, http://www.wickedlychic.com/category/Guest+Quarters/

Tricia's website is http://www.triciadycka.com and you can read her blog for more info on exactly the problem that you are having and she also has a free newsletter called Drinks Poolside where she addresses issues such as yours every week. Hope this helps!

~Liz
You are not alone, and you are not wrong to do something for yourself that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. I know exactly how you feel. I hope I can make you feel a little better by saying that even though we have never met I am proud of you for following through on an idea and a desire where 99% of other people would have just day dreamed about it, and I support you. Feel free to contact me anytime you need to hear it again. karen@clearbluearomatherapy.com
Thank you very much Karen!
I'd like to add my 2 cents worth to this conversation.

Most of our journey in life, if we truly evaluate it, is a lonely trail. If we are wanting another human to fill the same desires, excitment, voyages or explorations, we are often disappointed with those who we "think" that are close to us. Honestly, that is good and let me share in my own experience.

Being the mother of six children, a wife, and a community minded individaul allowed me to see the opportunity of "never wearing the same hat" any given moment in my day. So, with that thought I became an actress. Perhaps it would be best to say I knew what line and which role I would be "playing at the moment" while all the while I am formulating, yearning to sniff the blends that I created a few weeks ago, designing packaging, researching history and etc. The only time I want to be isolated is when I am at the computer "talking to the paper" and creating a sales sheet, newsletter, or product design. When I walk the walk of where I am to be at the given time of that moment to help whomever I need to help, or live my daily activites. I hgonestly think that being "alive" when others are is important. BUT the greater is being ALIVE when you are at your peak of research, product development and labels, and etc.

Oh, just another thing that has recently happened to me. I'm planning an event . . . and of course the "pipeline" has begun. You know from the one who new you 10 and 15 years ago, but you hardly have exchanged a peep since then. I've recieved Facebook pages like they were my best friend and want to help me with my event. Problem is I hadn't seen or spoke to them for five years. Gets better. Someone called me and said that "They were just thinking of me the other day and how "God" told them that we would be doing an event together". Surprize, God didn't tell me that I was doing the event with you. May I ask where you got such information? .

All I can say is DISCERNMENT . . . Blessings,

Cynthia
I have learned to just not talk about business with my friends. So far I have not lost any friends, however, I do have a lot less respect for some of them. To see how self absorbed they are in their total lack of interest in my work is frustrating, especially when I sit and listen to them talk for hours about their work. It is sad that "friends" can be so closed to another friends passions and life work.

I have found my best friends now are those I have met through the industry or who run their own businesses in different industries.
You said it right, I have lost respect for many also. And I also try not to talk about business with my friends at all and I just feel frustrated when they get upset if I don't want to go out every other weekend or go on a girls trip to Miami and leave my hardworking husband and my business behind... They just don't get it and I turn into a bad friend.
Hello,

Whenever you seem to take the time to redirect your life and aim for what you want obstacles come in your way sometimes in the form of people. People are in your life for a season, reason or a lifetime. Maybe her season was over. I applaud you for taking a stand it is hard enough to fight for your dreams let alone the negativeness of friends. True friends don't have to always agree but it doesn't hurt to encorage. Take sometime and breathe, if you are passionate about what you believe and puttting a lot of effort in it you will do everything it takes to see your vision. Some people are dream killers and when you know this you know what to do. But if it truly bother you sometimes a handwritten note letting that person know how you feel helps to ease tension and put a period behind things, because you seem to care. I wish you the best and God will send true friends.
Thank you Tawana!

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